Non-Combat · Mission Objective
THE CITIZENS
Untrained. Unarmed. Unreasonably important.
The heart, soul, and extremely stealable pants supply of the battlefield. They did not ask for this. They did not train for this. Most were simply walking outside, enjoying a normal day, when the sky opened up.
Protect the citizens. Protect the pants. Try not to panic near windows.
Citizens may not be soldiers. But in this war, every citizen is an objective with shoes.
Role Fantasy
The chaotic cargo of the UPDF.
Citizens are not built to fight. They are built to survive, complain, flee in the wrong direction, and make every Defender's job more complicated.
The Collectors see citizens as inventory.
The UPDF sees citizens as people.
The citizens see both teams and would very much like to go inside.
Gameplay
Part objective, part comedy engine.
During Setup, Defenders should move citizens into safer areas. Athletes can carry or throw them. Tailor Engineers fortify around them. Security Officers guard them. Dr. Peepers keeps the defense alive nearby.
Every rescued citizen keeps the UPDF in the fight.
Every captured citizen brings the mothership one step closer to victory.
Behavior Types
Five personalities. Five panic styles.
The Screamer
Runs fast. Screams faster. Excellent at alerting everyone that something terrible is happening, usually by running directly through it.
The Hider
Sees danger and immediately remembers that buildings exist. The UPDF's favorite citizen.
The Crowd Follower
Believes safety is wherever the largest group of equally terrified people happens to be.
The Freezer
When danger appears, the Freezer briefly becomes public art. Defenders are encouraged to relocate them before the aliens admire the exhibit.
The Hero
Rare. Confused. Inspiring. May help man a cannon, follow a Defender's lead, or do something unexpectedly useful at the exact moment everyone assumed they would scream.
Setup
Best chance to survive.
Moved indoors, guided to safe areas, kept away from obvious alien landing routes.
If a citizen can see the sky, the sky can see their pants.
Invasion
Panic at full volume.
Some run. Some hide. Some freeze. Some make decisions that will be reviewed later by a committee.
A citizen being chased is the mission happening right now.
Final Stand
Liability and legend.
When things get desperate, a few brave citizens may step up and help man the cannons. Are they trained? No. Are they ready? Also no.
Panic later. Fire cannon now.
Citizen Safety Tips
Survival guidelines.
- 1. Go indoors.
- 2. Stay indoors.
- 3. Do not investigate glowing beams.
- 4. Do not negotiate with orange aliens.
- 5. If carried by an Athlete, remain calm and enjoy the emergency relocation.
- 6. If placed in a safe zone, do not wander back to where the screaming came from.
- 7. If someone shouts “Final Stand,” look for a cannon or a very sturdy wall.
- 8. Pants are not optional.
UPDF Public Safety Notice
Attention citizens.
Due to increased Collector activity, the UPDF recommends remaining calm, moving indoors, and avoiding all suspicious lights descending from the sky.
If approached by an orange alien, do not offer directions, snacks, or pants. If a Defender tells you to move, please move. If an Athlete throws you into a building, assume the building was safer than where you were.
The UPDF thanks you for your cooperation.
You matter. Your pants matter slightly more.
Citizens & Defenders
Working relationships with the UPDF.
Security Officer
A safe citizen is often standing behind a Security Officer. Preferably several feet behind.
Tailor Engineer
Stay near whatever they build. Unless it beeps in a way that sounds experimental.
Dr. Peepers
Medical beams work better on people who are not sprinting in circles.
Athlete
May pick you up, carry you, or throw you somewhere safer. This is not kidnapping.
Needle Eye
If they tell you not to cross a street, do not cross the street. They can see things you cannot.
Citizens vs Collectors
Collectors view citizens as mobile pants containers. This is rude.
Citizens should avoid: orange aliens, glowing beams, suspicious saucers, purple portals, anything labeled “inventory,” and anyone saying “the pants were never yours.”
Scenes from the streets
Lore
Before the invasion, citizens lived ordinary lives.
They went to work. They walked dogs. They took their kids to soccer practice. They spied on neighbors. They wore pants without considering the galactic implications.
Then the Collectors arrived and declared pants a “high-priority acquisition category.” Nobody knew what that meant. Then the beams started.
Now every citizen is part of the UPDF's most important mission: survive the invasion, keep their pants, and stop giving interviews while standing in open streets.
Heard on the Streets
“Why is the sky making that noise?”
“I was just buying snacks!”
“Do I look collectible to you?”
“Please stop calling me an objective.”
“I would like to be indoors now.”
“That alien is looking at my pants.”
“I don't know how to fire a cannon, but I know I don't like that mothership.”
“I was promised this neighborhood had low crime.”
“Is being carried by the Athlete covered by insurance?”
- Panic responsibly.
- Stay indoors. Keep pants on.
- Do not become inventory.
- If you can hear the beam, move.
- Heroes wear capes. Citizens wear pants.
Citizens are not just background characters.
They are the reason the fight matters.
Protect the people. Save the pants. Stop the alien swine.